That way!

Everything is running dry

People are changing

Things are moving

I feel little late to catch up with everything

Agonized and vulnerable

I feel little late for everything

I wish I could go in pace

But something tells me

I am okay in my pace

But I can’t hear or feel

I feel at lost

I feel weak

I feel not so good enough

I question everything

I doubt myself

Where did I go wrong

What mistake did I do

What didn’t I learn

Just everything

I wish I could go away

I wish I was never there

I wish to disappear

Like a salt in food

I just want to go away

But everyday seems like a coffee machine

Running, panting and drying

Wish I could just stay

Stay for a while

And not be bothered to stop

Stay there and move when I want to

But they say, I am getting old

They say I need to mate

They say I need to make babies

They say I need to work

Day and night

All saying and preaching

Same thing

Over and over again

Like a broken record

I had to stop and hear

The same God-ful words

Sermons never vanish from hungry minds

I am stuck

Like a water drop in the coffee machine

Not able to overrun the mass

Dying of suffocation

Of this willful needs and desires

Am just running dry.


Hmm, where are we?

I see myself not thinking anymore

Not spending enough time with myself anymore

I see myself not reflecting anymore

I see myself thinking for a purpose

I see myself thinking to tackle a problem

I see myself thinking for a cause

I wonder

What is happening?

Is it time or space

Is it work or passion

Is it boredom or desire

Where am in this ?

Why aren’t I thinking unlike before?

Why aren’t I lazing around unlike before?

Why aren’t I free unlike before?

Why is there a lot of time allotment ?

Why is there a lot of work ?

Why is there a lot of to-do-things ?

Why is this burden ?

Why is this rush ?

To keep racing

Against what? Towards what ?And for what ?

I wonder when was the last time,  I didn’t think of moving

I wonder when was the last time, I didn’t schedule my day

I wonder when was the last time,  I digged deeper

Everything seems lost

As if time is running and I am secluding a ownership in social media platform

As if I cannot miss the chance

As if it’s the great necessity beholding man’s future

Breaking them into pieces

Drawing stringed rules and recommendations

Marching towards the great poll

I wonder when do we get to banish from this soul sucking theme of life

I wonder what lay ahead of this

Will we be ourself post this crisis or will it put us in another great necessity

I tell you, this never ends

It’s all written in the old man’s book

And he was drunk when he wrote it.

The next morning,

The great rush began and everything seems normal

The old man lost his book

His book was found in the dump yard

Someone picked it up

Read the last lines written by the old man

Which said – “Don’t take the effort to read unless you want to change”

That someone threw the book back in the dump yard

And the book was never read again….

The End


Hope they call it

What a magical word

That seems to extend seeds of conception

Waiting to achieve it

Waiting to receive it

Waiting to perceive it

A dread of time gets locked

A dread of energy gets invested

A dread of dreams get blocked

With the fantasy of chasing behind a soul

Lo, what a human desire!

To break through the reality barrier

To create a reflection of hope

As if it’s the last chance

As if it’s the only meaning

As if it’s the only purpose

Other moments seems dissolving

As though its the epitome of life salvation

All energies seems centered

Anything counterfeit seems falsary

I wonder what judgement is it

What measure is it

What predicament is it

To mindlessly run behind something so vague

And why?

To establish what?

A  validation to human’s fantasy!

In a senseless yard

To figure out a intention

To exercise one’s skills

To topple of the board

To show victory

Senseless chase

To keep grabbing over something

Again and again

Only to validate one’s manhood

Is an intelligence challenge

To keep chasing the hope

Like a warrior in face of enemy

We humans standby

Like a consciousness in face of misery

And when hope fails,

You seek revenge

What a toil of retardation!

Far from love…we made love

Do you know why I made love with you that night

It’s not the charm of your face that I fell for but the beauty of your movement

Like a teenage kid waiting for me outside my office

Waiting to see me how I am, how I look

Resisting to touch me

But trying to feel me as much as you can

At first, I found it creepy

I still do

But after we had that ice cream in the corner house

As we started to walk

That’s when I knew

I was falling for you

I wonder if it was a desire or deprivation

I see myself being and juggling between need and deprivation

I don’t know what it is

I didnt ponder over that thought when I was with you

It was as if I was dissolved in your universe

It was the walk I longed-for rather than sex

It was the walk on those dainty old houses and shady tress and parks in the corner of each residential locality

It was that walk that made me feel

To be beside you

To feel you

To hear your stories and feelings

And when you wanted to hold me, grab me, kiss me and own me

I didn’t wanted to, not that I am doubtful

But I am reserved in an open space

And, there are people in the streets

Who would glimpse at the events that are extraordinary

How absurd I wonder

To be enslaved by beguilement

How amusing is it for others

A source of entertainment

But everything reduced to molecules

When you held my hand not when you pulled me or kissed me

But when your palm touched mine and when each our fingers crossed each other as if making a knot

There is something about it

I liked the feel of my hands touching you as we walked together that night

I wanted more

I couldn’t resist you

Even if it was for a few micro seconds

I just wanted more and more

Like a kid demanding her mother for more toys

I just didn’t want to give up

I knew, you couldn’t resist either

I wonder what was that attachment

To immerse into one’s shadow completely

As if there is no way out

As if that’s the only space that existed in that moment of time

It’s surreal

For time to collapse into one thing and stay constant

And, there you are waiting to ask me

For more of such moments

To fulfill your lecherousness

As if awaiting time is a deadly sin

You grabbed me into that moment of trouble

As if it’s the final call

And I couldn’t stop either, as I was mesmerized to see what’s within your universe

And as if that’s the only way to know

We made love not out of love but for curiosity and needs

I wonder

What an impelling desire!


I don’t want to be toiled all day

I don’t want to be toiled every year

I want to be doing nothing somedays

Maybe do a lot someday

I want to be a wanderer somedays

I want to read at pace

I want to read without guilt and conformity

I want to write when I feel

I want to write when I am having overwhelming emotion

I want to eat happily without thinking about sustainability

I want to go to work with Joy

I don’t want to think about making more money just to have a quality sustainable life

I don’t want to keep thinking about how much money is going into my bank account

I want to meet clients only when I am curious, excited and happy

I want to meet them, when I feel like exercising my skills

Not everyday, not every time

Just not today.

I want to make a lot of love

Maybe everyday

I want dress up well and walk around

Somedays just to feel myself

I want to dance when I am high on life

Maybe laugh more with my humor

Or maybe shout at someone because life is frustrating

Or maybe cocoon myself to room and weep all night

There is sadness

There is this pain

And I just want to vent

Until I am fine

Until I am ready to toil again

Like an endless journey

As in illusion of being happy

Waiting to kill boredom

With arduous tasks and entertainment

With lighter notes and breathless air

With a comfy sofa and drink

I smoke

Like a middle class man

Without efforts and toiling through the day

It is easy to live, they say

But it’s hard to propagate, I say

Life is absurd

But choice seems like only livable option

Such is a whim.


That feeling of tiredness

When your brain slows down

When you become observer

And, when your wit raises to show

When you feel to forgive and let go

In that vegetative state

People ushering you with words

People throwing their tantrums

People engrossed in others

Everything seems like a view outside a window

With stillness in the heart

And, mind rapidly slowing down

Like a worn-out sponge

Just leaking away

The emotions!

Without playful manipulation

Undeliverable actions

Like a frozen water

Still yet pouring,

Like a old women

Drudging through the day,

Life seems hapless

Like when is it going to end,

Thoughts of life pondering on a snails track

Slow and steady

Willy wally

Crescent shaped

Broken recordings

Life seems to pass on a daze

Inside a dream yet another reality

Approaching silently

As if finding a way

To capture a reality

As it stands beside and inside

One’s reality

I am slow again with sadness engulfing me

Rupturing and tearing away my spirit

Making me old again

Like a spiraled DNA

Everything seems seamless and endless

And the night falls

As I withstand this darkness within me

Like a red hot meat

I am buried alive.